Owen's Prose

Stuff and Things

Sat, 23 Mar 2013 04:02:37 GMT

Here's a good one.

But this is also excellent.

And I like this.

Or this.

On Facebook today, three friends of mine with whom I've had -- years ago -- some kind of casual, perceived, or flirtatious involvement or attraction, posted baby pictures. One just delivered twins, one put up a first ultrasound, and one announced her delicate condition with a photo of a firm belly growing out. Mostly I'm happy for my friends and confident the world will be better with little copies of them running around, but I feel a little melancholy.

It's not the usual bit where God is always shouting in my ear that I should have knocked each of them up myself, preferably simultaneously. As a man, I've had to deal with Him telling me that and more about every likely fertile female I know since adolescence and I know how to ignore Him. In fact, I decided long ago not to pursue my apparently decent chances with each one of these mothers and stayed friends with them.

No, I think the melancholy is womb envy. Babies are awfully cute but I'm not capable of brewing any up inside of me and am but surf on a raging of sea the ultimate power to create life. I wonder if it all means I want another one. Maybe I should mention it to my girlfriend; it's fun to watch her try to explain rationally why the idea is crazy. I suspect rationality is not what's driving my feelings.

Here's a cute picture of a baby getting shampooed.

Girls

Fri, 11 May 2012 05:45:27 GMT

Girls (a co-production of HBO and stormfront.org): proof that a show by women, about women, and for women can still only just barely squeak past the Bechdel test in most episodes.

Buffy In Popular Culture

Tue, 01 May 2012 10:50:40 GMT

So Jordan in Battleground is a Buffy Season Six fan. Just like us! The image of our fandom is improving.

http://www.hulu.com/watch/355362/battleground-hes-better-than-television

roughly at 17:15

I wrote about stuff.

Wed, 25 Apr 2012 05:36:21 GMT

Scabs: I went on a hard backcountry trip of a few days with a girlfriend and we came back exhausted, scarred, cut, and bleeding. It was great. The mountains and the woods are filled with treasures of botany, geology, wild animals, archaeology, and self-knowledge. And scars will heal up. The girlfriend doesn't think I should be so proud of the blood I shed finding a new route across the mountain. I say that's why I carry surgical tape in the pack.

So I told her, minor injuries make you feel alive and scabs are like souvenirs. Plus, chicks dig scars. She wasn't buying it.

I should really be more careful around bears in the future.

Fringe: I was about to drop this show. Then this week we have the crazy flash-forward to 2035 and I remember why I love it. In Season Three, there were something like five episodes in a row where we didn't see the lead playing her character for even a full minute between them because the world had gone bizarre and every bit of it was gold. It reinforced all the themes of the show while treating us to the alternative. This was great like that.

Mad Men: Oh, it's back. And it's still fun. I still enjoy the surreal way they make 1965 look so fresh. The Draper apartment is gorgeous. They treated Howard Johnsons as if it were stylish. I can't help remembering how bad the food was, though.

Does anybody else's culture do a carefully detailed recreation of the recent past? I'd love to see Ireland or Mexico or Japan done in complete 1960 style with 2010s production values.

Midnight in Paris: It didn't feel like the inter-war years to me. Can't say why. A perfectly serviceable Woody film for all the usual reasons, Midnight makes me feel like he enjoys shooting Paris a lot more than he did Barcelona.

Girls on HBO: You know how some shows would rather drag you cringing through awkward and embarrassing moments where you feel bad for the characters instead of just making them worth caring about? I used up my bucket of ewww on the pilot and brought home a new whole new bucketfull from the store. Then I ran out again halfway through the second episode where the girl is sabotaging her job interview by accusing her prospective employer of being a rapist.

Battlefield on Hulu: This is the junior partner to The West Wing that you're looking for.

FIC: Five Times Buffy Was A Robot (And Once She Wasn't)

Thu, 29 Mar 2012 11:25:05 GMT

Title: Five Times Buffy Was A Robot (And Once She Wasn't)
Spoilers for all of Buffy canon and for the comics through March 2012.
Comments: Loved. Which is your favorite?

One

Buffy pulled up to open the bedroom window, but it wouldn't budge. Joyce had nailed it shut. "Well, it's official," she said, "this day can't get any worse."

"Beg to differ."

Buffy, startled, turned around to find Ted in her bedroom. "You died."

"That's right, little lady, you killed me. Do we have something to say about that? Are we sorry?"

"Yes," answered Buffy, "I am sorry. I didn't mean to kill you. But how are you alive again?"

Ted was surprised and pleased that Buffy had become so polite and cooperative. "Well, I'm really a robot."

"A robot?"

"Yeah, I was a real person in the fifties and then I got sick and before I died, I built a replacement of myself."

"So you're saying that you could build a replacement of me, one that could be strong like you and kill vampires. And mom and I could move away from the hellmouth, thousands of miles away. Maybe with aunt Arlene in Chicago. Instead of facing an early death, I could be on the beach in Grant Park with ice cream, no vampires, no Cordelia, and the Watchers' Council wouldn't even know."

"Well, sure, if that's really what you want."

Two

"Willow!" Buffy stormed into the Castle's headquarters and waved a tabloid newspaper in the witch's face. "What is this? Another decoy? This one is ruining my reputation, out dancing and drinking with demons. I would never do that!"

"Oh," Willow was taken by surprise, "we needed another one in a more visible location. Somewhere with lots of paparazzi. Like Rome."

"I still don't see why it's so important," Buffy stormed out.

Willow pulled out her smartphone and hits the speed dial.

"Hey, Buffy, it's me."

"Yeah, the robot here in Scotland found out about you. She's pretty upset."

"No, she doesn't suspect. She's still sure that she's the original. But she isn't."

"Are you sure you'll never come back?"

"I respect that. I really do. You deserve the break. But you're still my best friend and I miss you."

Three

"Because Buffy -- the other, not so pleasant Buffy -- anything happened to Dawn -- it'd destroy her. I couldn't live -- her being in that much pain; let Glory kill me first. Nearly bloody did."

Then the robot kissed his lips. But those lips were too warm, too soft, too sweet. Not at all plasticine. He pulled away in shock.

"And my robot?"

"The robot is gone. The robot was gross and obscene."

"It wasn't--"

"Don't!" Buffy interrupted, "that thing -- it wasn't even real." She paused a second. "Where did you get it?"

§

"So that's it," Warren giggled nervously, "the Buffybot, I mean, the new improved Buffybot, the Spikebot, Xanderbot, Gilesbot, Anyabot, Willowbot, and Tarabot. Plus, you have the original Buffybot, too, but that's a lot less advanced."

"I put my new biopolymers into the Dawnbot," Katrina sidled up next to Warren in an intimate way, "so that it'll be able to simulate a dimensional portal opening if necessary. Demons won't be able to tell the difference. They'd need to skin it completely down to muscle and bone to tell and even then it would take about four seconds before shorting out."

"That tissue synthesis is amazing," Warren looked at her with affection and respect.

"And I injected enough magic to keep them fooled," Willow slapped Warren on the back in an encouraging but awkward way.

Buffy examined the robots. "This is amazing Spike," She said, "we'll be three thousand miles away on the beach in Miami and Glory will still be trying to get her portal open."

"I pinched a van and a camper, Slayer. Which one shall we take and leave the other for the robots to head out in the opposite direction?"

"Wait, how dangerous is this demon?" asked Katrina, concerned.

"Strong enough to send the slayer running."

"Warren, maybe we should build two more and I'll take that job in Boston."

"I always wanted to get a doctorate at MIT. I'll even program yours to think we never got back together so she'll be completely outside the demons' suspicion."

Katrina smiled at him.

Four

"Well, that's it for the polgara skewer. What next?"

"Cut the heart out of the slayer and see if we can implant that, too."

"I don't know, Doctor Walsh. Even comatose, she's still alive and she's human."

"Since when did you develop scruples? Don't worry. I replaced her with a robot and gave it a defective blaster. Her idiot watcher will never suspect the difference."

Five

"You know, I gave you ample warning. I told you not to interfere. And you chose not to heed," Caleb advanced toward Buffy, ready to finish her with her own scythe. "I was kinda hopin' it'd go this way."

Cut with her own weapon, Buffy started to lose consciousness.

Standing over her own body, the First as Buffy stomps, "stuff her in the sarcophagus now! Vampires are coming."

"Yes'm," Caleb complies obediently. "And what do I do with this simulacrum here in the box?" He pulled another -- third -- version of Buffy out.

"Activate it and stuff the original away. I'll infuse it with my consciousness and then I'll be guaranteed to win no matter how the final battle goes."

Caleb finishes the job of stuffing Buffy's lifeless body into the coffin.

"I just hope I can decide which vampire to kiss first."

Smiling at the jest, Caleb turns back to her newly animated robotic body just as Angel knocks him down from behind.

"I never was much for preachers."

And one

"Warren! Like the phoenix! You've returned to me," Andrew stopped himself and frowned. He looked around the workshop and grabbed a broom. "You're just the First again," he swung the broom handle at the apparition.

No, dummy; it's me." Warren caught the shaft in his hands and pulled it out of Andrew's grip. He tossed it aside with a clatter.

"It's really you!" Andrew ran over and hugged his old teammate. "I thought you dissolved when Amy's magic disappeared."

Moana sighed with contempt. Her long hair accented her tiny and skin-tight black dress as she tossed her head and flipped it back over her shoulder.

"It was Moana," Warren gestured to her, "when I dribbled into a bloody puddle on the sidewalk, I only had like four seconds before I really would have been dead forever. Luckily Moana was there. She's a world class surgeon and she happened to have a putty knife with her."

"Can we get what we came for now?" she asked with obvious disdain.

"Yes, my love," Warren answered, "Andrew. We need you to do us a very special favor."

"Anything for you, Warren."

"First, let go of me." Andrew loosened his embrace.

"I need an arm," announced Moana.

Andrew was confused. She seemed to already have the usual two.

"It's for our new business. Supervillans are helpless without magic and they're turning to implants and genetic engineering."

"I can reproduce the slayer's strength, but I need a sample. From the original."

"So what do I do?" asked Andrew.

Warren dropped a tiny vial with a quick dissolving pill in it onto the table. "You'll drop this into Buffy' drink, some time when she won't suspect the hangover." Then he put down a robotic right arm next to it. "Then cut her arm off at the shoulder and hook this artificial one on. She'll never know the difference." He put another robotic right arm next to the first. "I made two because I don't know her exact size."

No picspam for you!

Mon, 27 Feb 2012 06:11:43 GMT

There's this from yesterday's meme machine,

And this from today's,

Who says the forces of reaction can stand in the way of progress?

On The Nurturing And Operation Of The Human Female

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 04:32:01 GMT

I've read some Buffy Season Nine comics and come to a clear conclusion about Buffy's pregnancy.

First, I counted the days.

*Buffy's party is day zero.
*She wakes up with naked Willow on day one and later meets Spike and the loan collector.
*On day one or two she is caught by the cops with a stake.
*On that same day she escapes and the next meets up with the Siphon.
*She sleeps over with the Siphon on day two or three.
*She does battle with the Siphon with Dowling, Koh, and Spike's help on day three or four.
*On day three or four, Anaheed and Tumble find her weapons stash.
*Anaheed and Tumble are so eager to talk about her dangerous lifestyle, they harass her in the bathroom soon thereafter. Since it's such a priority to them, I can't imagine they've waited more than 48 hours after they found the weapons, so it's day four to six.
*Buffy is taking a pregnancy test in that bathroom and gets a little blue plus on day four to six.

So I conclude that Buffy is confirmed positive on the pregnancy test somewhere between four and six days after the party.

We've all had this conversation:

---

Paramour: Owen, I'm pregnant.
Owen: Really? How do you know?
P: It's my cycle. It hasn't started yet.
O: Are you sure?
P: Of course I'm sure! It's my body.
O: I mean, are you sure you're overdue.
P: I think so. I must be. It feels overdue.
O: Have you tried a pregnancy test?
P: Those don't work until you've been pregnant for two weeks.
O: So let's just not worry about it yet.
P: Owen, I can't be pregnant. I'm only [16,17,18,19,21,23,36,39,40] years old, we're not married, my father doesn't like you, and you don't have a job.

---

I always enjoy that conversation because it's a strong predictor of hot, intense panic sex.

I find that the ladies often just aren't counting right. One partner of mine would panic each and every month because she was sure her cycle should be exactly 28 days. As a rational man I keep my mind like Abed's notebook and I always know the exact day of my girlfriends' cycles and their likely mood swings. It's a survival mechanism. That 28-day girl cycled like clockwork, always 31.25 days. That made for three excellent days of panic sex each month. You might suggest that I should have relieved her of the worry, but would you really try to tell your girlfriend that you knew her cycles better than she did?

It sure beats the alternative conversation:

---

P: Owen, you need to move out of my house.
O: What? I like it here.
P: It's been four months, you still don't have a job, and I'm pregnant.
O: You're pregnant? That's great, but I definitely need to stay around for the baby.
P: So it can have a daddy lying around on my sofa, drinking my beer, playing video games, and freeloading? I don't think so.
O: That's not all I do.
P: It was great that one week when you organized the recall campaign against our asshole state representative, but that was two months ago and it never got you a paying job. I've only been sleeping with you because of the way you told off my [boss,graduate advisor,father] and how sexy you look on your bike with that leather coat. But the rebel without a cause thing is over. It hardly makes a marriage.
O: But we're having a baby together.
P: I'm having a baby; you're moving out. Pack up your things and call your mother and see if she'll take you in. Again.

---

I've had that one a few times, too, and it never leads to hot panic sex.

Anyway, the point here is that it takes about two weeks for a pregnancy test to work. Even the sensitive ones your doctor can do don't work in less than a week and a half.

Thus I'm forced into one of two conclusions:

1. Buffy was pregnant before her party. Maybe she and Spike got frisky on the fire escape. Maybe Xander and Buffy got it going on Xander and Dawn's bed and that's why they chatted guiltily before the party and Buffy had to move out so suddenly and that's why Dawn was upset with Xander and wouldn't let Buffy stay over (lots of evidence for this, actually). Maybe it was an immaculate conception. In any case, the baby isn't just a Dark Horse punishment for girls who wear skirts and drink, because it happened before S9 started.

2. The comic writers are boys. The boys in question have never had a serious girlfriend and never inquired into how human females operate. In fact, these boys aren't really interested in women except as giant-breasted icons of inky desire unthreateningly confined to the inanimate page.

Could be either one, really.

Misc dump

Tue, 07 Feb 2012 02:28:08 GMT

The things one finds on the internet.

Let's start with the zombies.

And after Congress, the people who choose Congress:

The sheep who reads a lot turns black, true in any language:

Barcelona's stormtroopers are literate:

But do they love their children?

Learn the time signatures:

Outside the USA, copyright is largely a joke. Where this photo was taken I once saw a sign, "authentic pirated discs."

Finally, the record on civil rights, war, limits on government power, persecuting whistle blowers, the economy, freedom of expression, corporate power, and immigration proves this:

Icon + Confirmed = iConfirmed

Sat, 12 Nov 2011 01:49:45 GMT

Well, my icon has finally been proven absolutely right. The rest of you can admire.

As for me, I'm going to celebrate. I'm putting on my highest heels, my shortest skirt, my best device for concealing my penis and I've got everything I need. I've got my body, got my lips, got a pocket full of Hawthornes.

The Alot Is Better Than You At Everything

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 23:44:18 GMT

The Alot Is Better Than You At Everything

I liked this article alot and I think you will like it alot, too.

For green_maia

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 02:56:05 GMT

As a response to green_maia's post, and also thanks for the daisy:

How Zombies and Superheroes Conquered Highbrow Fiction

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 02:52:34 GMT

How Zombies and Superheroes Conquered Highbrow Fiction from the Atlantic Monthly. I'm a long-time subscriber -- they let you re-up for $10 after the first year -- and I always like The Atlantic. (Except the occasional theme where a successful middle aged lady tries to justify why she's not married; why do you keep putting that story on the cover once a year every year, editors?)

--

At the farmers' market, there was a couple selling nuts candied in nutmeg, cloves, and cinnamon. They're good nuts like pecans and almonds; no cheap peanuts. I'm glad I bought only a quarter pound because I can't stop eating them. They taste like Christmas. Is Christmas coming already? It was just Rosh Hashanah!

Also I bought lemongrass. I need a bigger sprig; it makes such nice tea and sauces.

It doesn't take all kinds; we just have all kinds.

Fri, 14 Oct 2011 01:26:29 GMT

My baby sister fell down and bumped her face. She has a distinct bruise across one cheek.

And she has a new report this week. She is getting a lot of new positive attention from men. They all seem kind of skeevy and mean to her but for some reason they are really very interested whenever she's around.

Thanks, FOX, for saving my time!

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 00:40:22 GMT

Dear FOX,

I used to watch Fringe on Hulu.com where it ran with ten or more minutes of commercials during each program. Now that you have wisely put Fringe on an eight day delay so that Hulu watchers cannot chat with their friends about the episodes, I have switched to downloading the show online from friendly peer-to-peer services.

The result is that I save those ten minutes of commercials. I can go to the store without commercial jingles popping into my head because I've never heard them. It's liberating. From now on maybe I'll just download all FOX programs online without commercials.

Again, thank you for your far-sighted anticipation of new ways to improve the lives of your customers. I'm amazed how you always know better than I do. Can you imagine that when I first discovered the eight day delay policy I was upset with FOX? Now I know better.

Sincerely,
Owen Thurman

Del.icio.us

Fri, 30 Sep 2011 03:50:05 GMT

Delicious Disaster Lessons From A Complete Failure

Discussion on Hacker News

At Lake Silencio

Tue, 27 Sep 2011 06:51:46 GMT

I have something in common with some friends of ours who live in a box in the living room.

Several years ago, I went diving in Lake Silencio, Utah. I travelled for a day to get to the scenic Glen Canyon Reservoir where the lake is located. I hired SCUBA kit and headed to a corner of Wahweap canyon, on the opposite side of the canyon from where the Doctor meets his end.

I descended into the clear warm water to the thermocline. It's about ten meters below the surface, a shimmering meniscus with tiny organisms gathering in a thin layer where the colder water underneath meets the summer warmth above. I'm still not sure why they don't mix. Beneath there the warming red rays of the sun fade out and everything looks blue and gray.

I found an old sunken boat hull and quite a lot of fish. The fish are stocked; few natural populations can survive in the drowned waters of Glen Canyon today. Before the reservoir, it was the greenest and liveliest place in the region. I suppose it's a natural metaphor that our long lived friend will pass there like the community of nature passed out of existence in the 1960s as the rising waters drowned it.

And now I wonder if our lurking -- or resting -- friend can see the thermocline. It can be fun to watch as it roils and flows like the surface of two oceans meeting, one above and one below. Better than going crazy bored like a certain broody vampire.

Spike In San Francisco

Thu, 22 Sep 2011 03:20:27 GMT

Dark Horse has Buffy and Spike in San Francisco and I'm working on another local color story. This is a good time to repost a link to my Spike (and Buffy) in San Francisco flash fic, Church Street.

Here's the link in memories, and Part One.

----

Wait, now Gus is claiming to be a Chilean? I've heard the man speak Spanish and I can prove to those DEA guys in ten seconds that he's no Chilean.

The accent's all wrong.

Phonebook

Wed, 24 Aug 2011 02:04:17 GMT

I handed the nine-year-old my phone so she could play Angry Birds. It's an Android and has all the idiot buttons Google insisted on instead of following the wise Apple one-button model.

She slipped into one of the buttons and ended up with my phone in phone mode. It was easy enough to put back into her game.

Along the way, however, she paged through my phone book with all my friends' and family's numbers. She zeroed in, among all those names and numbers, on my girlfriend. "Who's _______, Daddy?"

What am I supposed to say to that?

§

Seen on the internet: Why does Gadhafi think he can succeed in defying the central government in Washington?

§

98ºF today. Lovely.

Alternative endings for Harry Potter 7

Tue, 16 Aug 2011 01:38:45 GMT

Warning: spoilers for a book published five years ago.

The seventh Harry Potter book was originally titled Harry Potter And The Book Where Everybody Dies. The title was changed to The Deathly somethings by marketeers. Of course, Harry was supposed to die outright following the path of the chosen warrior in making the ultimate sacrifice.

Ms. Rowling lacked the strength of will to kill off Harry. Instead the weak fabrication is that Harry is only Mostly Dead. He gets the tunnel and the light but then comes back no worse for the wear.

Wouldn't it have been much better if Harry had just risen as a zombie? We could dispense with all the Elder Wand chain of custody nonsense and move straight on to Harry and Pocahontas in their final battle.

With vacant expression Harry would stumble up from behind the Dark Lord; he would surprised but cast an Avada Kedavra with the Elder Wand to conclusively end the fight. Harry, being already dead, would shamble on reaching for the Dark Lord's head. He would scream with pain and terror as Harry climbed his stupid cape and devoured his brains right out of his still-living skull.

Awesome!

The epilogue could be something like Shaun Of The Dead with Harry stiffly standing in a hug between Ron and Hermione as they survey the damage and count their losses. Ron could say something about his brother and Hermione could talk about the sacrifices they all made. Finally Harry could moan, "brains!" Then they would all laugh.

§

I'm pretty sure that the movie chose to defame all the Slytherins by removing the stories of the ones who did fight at Hogwarts for the good guys. The Malfoys also lost their parts in the final battle. Aside from the implications for free will, the deprecation of all Slytherin makes the very idea of Hogwarts kind of ugly with one of the founders' houses irredeemably evil right from the sorting.

My alternative is better.

Seeing The Ess Oh

Mon, 08 Aug 2011 04:32:05 GMT

"What is more harmful than any vice?" read the girlfriend, "sympathy for failure and weakness. Christianity." She's a Christian herself, but always engages with the toughest questions. We travelled for two weeks and she brought along The Antichrist.

Nietzsche says that he writes for a man who "never asks of the truth whether it brings him profit or death. He must have an inclination, born of strength, for questions that no one has the courage for." The girlfriend is brutal that way while being girly in plenty of others. It's one of the things I like best about her.

§

Quoting Zarathustra on the first date was how she ended up with me in the first place, though I didn't tell her that at the time. You should never tell her exactly what it is you really like about her. I always tell her it was her excellent ass instead.

§

The girlfriend's family was disturbed where we were going on our international vacation. We headed not just to the safety and security of Mexico City, but also to shady Cuernavaca. "It's full of narcos," warned the girlfriend lowering her voice, "and foreigners."

"Fuera de México," her family says, "todo es Culiacán." I can't wait to tell my friends from Culiacán.

§

I had a nightmare.

We were in a locally owned organic supermarket in Southern California. The manager was telling me about the details involved in procuring and stocking delicious organic vegetables and selling them to rich yuppies. Then my friend was paying for her order and the clerk added on a surcharge to her bill because she wasn't a rich white yuppie. We called in the LAPD and uncovered systematic corruption and racism in the organic grocery business.

I don't think my description really carries the sense of menace and terror of the nightmare. Someday I'll have to write up the plot better. Suffice it to say I awoke in a chill sweat.

§

We were at the excellent Fondo de Cultura Económica bookstore on Eje Central. She was looking for a good summer read for her nephews. We'd already tried taking tea at El Pendulo and looking for a good translation of Edgar Allen Poe stories.

Then the girlfriend had a new idea. "Have you ever read B. Traven?" she asked.

"Treasure Of The Sierra Madre B. Traven?" I said, "I love B. Traven. Have you ever read Government?" I rattled off the basic mysteries of his life story.

Another German writer we have in common.

She bought me a copy of her favorite Canasta De Cuentos Mexicanos.

§

"Sé guisar," she told me. Then she took me to the old family estate in the exotic and mysterious land of the Mexiquenses and showed me. It was delicious. The matriarch butchered a chicken and grand nephews were running around in the shadow of Chiquihuite. Birds were Twittering away. In the time honored way, I sat back and let the ladies do all the work.

They taught me to make horchata. I always loved drinking it but I was very wrong guessing the ingredients.

Conversations With Girls

Fri, 15 Jul 2011 20:20:41 GMT

Conversation With The Six Year Old

Six: Lady Gaga is not a supervillan.
Owen: Are you sure?
Six: She's just a good singer, Dad.
Owen: But have you seen this music video documenting that she has bikini henchmen, she went to a maximum security prison with bikinis and cell phones, and she is a known associate of Beyonce?
Six: That's just a video. I like her songs. She isn't a bad singer like Katy Perry.
Owen: I don't think Katy Perry is cunning enough to be a supervillan.

Conversation With The Nine Year Old

Owen: Are you excited about the Harry Potter premier?
Nine: Daddy, I want to see it right now; it's so hard to wait for midnight.
Owen: You should be sure to get a nap so that you can stay up late enough for the very first show tonight.
Nine: It's too hard to get to sleep, though. It's like Christmas.
Owen: Do you think this time Harry will finally kiss Draco Malfoy?
Nine: Draco Malfoy? Harry loves Ginny, Dad, not Draco.
Owen: Millions of people on the Internet seem to be persuaded otherwise.
Nine: You can't believe it just because it's on the Internet, Dad.

Conversation With The Twenty-Four Year Old

24: That movie was done just right in every way; I wanted to clap when it came up to the end.
Owen: The way I remember it, you were the only one in the theatre who was booing.
24: They put the postscript in, big brother. The awful postscript that ruins the book.
Owen: I thought they might be wise enough to leave that out, like The Cleansing Of The Shire.
24: Don't you see how it robs you of the chance to imagine an open future for them? I agree the dating pool is kind of shallow but do they really all need to be chained to who they were in high school forever?

Strunk/White

Mon, 11 Jul 2011 06:04:44 GMT

From XKCD:

Teen Horniness Is Not A Crime

Mon, 04 Jul 2011 02:51:41 GMT

I saw True Grit 2010. Finally.

The Coen brothers follow the Coen aesthetic: everything is detailed, precise, historically and culturally accurate, and controlled down to the mood, lighting, color palette, props, details, and sounds. The 1969 version feels like a half baked student production by comparison. And True Grit 1969 was pushing hard on literal realism for its time.

There is one exception in both versions. Oklahoma doesn't look one bit like Oklahoma. It looks like Arizona or maybe Colorado. Sure, Arizona is a million times better than Oklahoma and a billion times prettier, but there are actual story elements that follow the landscape. Some of them could not happen in Oklahoma. I wonder if the novel contradicted Oklahoma geography also. The 2010 version can at least be paying homage to the 1969 landscapes; they are admirably closely matched without using the same locations.

I can't say 2010 ends more darkly, though the Coens give it their best. It does lay out a difficult but well earned fate for the characters in a harder edged and more final way, but the original was serious, too.

The acting was a technical triumph by all three principals and the supporting cast. I even lost track of Matt Damon the actor as he sublimated himself so deeply into LeBeouf. The performances all deserve a prize.

Everything in the production was outstanding and most all the spirit of the original was maintained. An excellent excursion.

--

Ripe fresh peas are just like candy.

--

Why did no one tell me that Southland Tales was amazing? Sure, it's a mess and either the editor or screenwriter was apparently drunk but it's an amazing mess. A collection of good performances by mostly mediocre B-list actors (plus SMG) fills out a dreamy post-apocalyptic Los Angeles. Shards of a twisted self-referential plot entertain us until they come together to raise even more questions in the best post-Modernistic way. The dreamy quality of the effects and clips of storytelling is enthralling.

Okay, yes; it's a mess.

But I was fascinated.

And SMG makes the most hilarious hand gesture ever. Yes, ever better than Hush.

--

It hit 100 degrees here today for the first time this year. I went out to play at 8 AM when it was only 80 for a long bike ride.

I can hardly believe I used to go out and work hard in the 100+ weather when I was young. How did I do that?

Time for some ice cream.

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Chocolate truffles in this weather are gooey and liquidy instead of soft and buttery.

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Had a meeting with the ex about the kids. Why did she ever marry me if she felt like that? Oh, yeah--now I remember.

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I don't know whom to root for in the Tour de France this year. I like Cadel Evans and the Schleck brothers are cute together. Kloeden and Leipheimer have been fun to watch in the past. Mostly I'm just glad to see Contador in trouble. Even before I knew he was a cheater, I just didn't like the guy.

Maybe both Schleck brothers could pick up their first Tour titles this coming month.

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My parents made a surprise visit for my birthday. I hadn't seen them together for fifteen or twenty years. Took them out to my favorite picnic spot in the mountains. It was a lot of fun but surreal, like being four years old again.

They seemed to get along fine. It's amazing how much they can drink, though.

Listening to them talk about family and cultural context makes me think about the distance between generations. People should really have their children just as young as they are able. Each additional year waiting is a barrier between you and the closest part of your family that will persist forever. Being a free spirit is overrated; youth is wasted on the young.

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I mostly enjoyed the revival Nine. I have tried a few times but I just cannot warm up to Ten. Maybe it's Tennant or maybe it's RTD being RTD, but I just don't like him.

I loved Three and Four and Five as the Doctors of my youth. And I really like Eleven.

Also, could Rose be any more low and grating? I doubt it.

Urgent News and Advice from the Centers For Disease Control

Thu, 19 May 2011 20:37:53 GMT

The Centers For Disease Control And Prevention have urgent warnings and advice for you today. The CDC is an agency of the Department of Health and Human Services of the United States Government. The Centers handle epidemics, vaccinations, contagious disease outbreaks, and zombies.

Yes, zombies.

Read the CDC's advice in case of Zombie Apocalypse. Be prepared and trust the government.

Joss Whedon Articles

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 03:01:04 GMT

Joss and feminism

Another point of view

No Season 8 discussion.