December 10th, 2006


FIC: Sweaty Jossed

Disclaimer: ME, Fox, Joss, Comix &c.
My first Buffy S8 comics fanfic. Anybody's first, I guess.

Sweaty Jossed

It's a real drag being the youngest slayer. They won't even let me train with weapons until I'm ten-and-a-half and I might not get to go on any missions this decade. Sometimes I think I'd be better off back at home with mom. At least I know for sure Jimmy won't dare ever hit me again.

This is the worst part of all. I don't even get one of these black rubberized spandex bodysuits made for my size. Buffy is the one girl in all the world not so much anymore. She's not any stronger or more special than I am, but she's on an adventure and I'm the one with a beaker between my thighs wringing every last drop of sweat out of her bodysuit. With as much honey-vanilla body wash as she wears, you'd think she wouldn't stink so much.

Boy, you spill one tiny can of grape soda on one of Giles' musty old books and you get the worst chore in slayerdom for a week.

It's not like it's even important.

Like some vampire that survived a fight with a real slayer would ever try to track her down again. Not. And like it might come by her double's apartment and blow her cover by smelling the wrong slayer? What a waste.

I have the same dreams as the rest, you know. I want to kill real vampires in dark alleys, not work some operation that climaxes in a fancy apartment with her friends squeezing delicate little atomizer bottles of sweat from some prissy slayer-er than thou hot shot.