|FIC: Chosen To Be Anywhere But Here (FITB, short)
||[Tuesday 8 Jan 2008 at 11:15 am]
Thanks for saying it!? Buffy can't get it out of her head as she climbs up out of the hellmouth. He couldn't have meant it the way it sounded. Spike just wanted her to live, to be able to go on without him. It wouldn't be right to leave her friend, her best friend, right hand companion, and lover behind to die knowing in his heart that she never loved him in return. For a moment Buffy wonders if she really does or if he was right all along.
That does it. She knows right then that Spike was completely wrong. He had no business doubting her. Buffy really does love him, wants him with her forever. Buffy isn't going to let him go to his death thinking otherwise, hero or no hero. She is clear and determined with resolve. Just once in her life she is going to get the love thing right and she is going back to Spike.
This isn't how it was supposed to go. The First Evil is losing its grip on the world and its own vampire is finishing it. It struggles furiously out of its collapsing cage. It rages to escape the light the vampire is casting. The First Evil created vampires out of demon and human blood; the First Evil leads them by its darkness and now the First Evil feels its apogee of anger and hate against this one betraying vampire. The hate is so powerful, so strong the First Evil reaches a higher state than pure evil. It gives the First one flash of corporeality. Just one blip of solidness. Escaping up the stairs to the roof the First makes itself real even as the world collapses.
The connection of the First to the world falls down around the vampire in the hellmouth. The connection of the First to corporeality collapses under its feet as it climbs onto the roof of a collapsing building. But hate is strong and one last burst of will makes it run from one collapsing roof to the next, carrying the axe that should always have been hers.
Buffy races down the spiral stairs into the hellmouth steeled to finish this right with Spike. She will have a kiss, not just hand holding. She will give him a firm unmistakable final declaration of love. She will drag him, against his will if necessary, out of this hellmouth and take him home and love him and live her life with him forever. Or she will die trying and he will know for certain and without a doubt that what she wants is to live, but to live with him.
As she reaches the final turn to face him her eyes are watering. Determined in her heart but with tears in her eyes, she hopes she doesn't cry. Just as she makes the final step before she will see Spike again the floor collapses, her feet drop out from under her and she falls to a lower level. Tons of stone fall onto her and she forces one final breath into her broken body with slayer strength before darkness falls. She expires without ever quite seeing with her own eyes the ultimate triumph of her vampire.
The First Evil lands on top of the bus and feels new possibilities open up as the hellmouth collapses, closed by her erstwhile vampire in his last act. She feels his death even as it brings her ultimate freedom in this new form. The vampire that betrayed her ultimately freed her also. She will utter his name one final time.
And a smile spreads across her cheeks. It is time for the First Evil to get some power. It is time for the First Evil to get an army. It is time for the First Evil to get some garments more suited to its power than these civilian rags. Those things all cost money and so it is time for the First Evil to rob some banks.
Thanks to elisi and fenchurche.