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Eggnog [Sunday 31 Oct 2010 at 01:26 am]
Owen
My name is Owen and I have an eggnog problem.

I love eggnog. I can't resist it. And I can't tell when to stop. I start with a half cup and tell myself I won't take any more. Then another half cup seems perfectly okay. And forty minutes later I've had a quart, the bottle is empty, and I still don't feel like I've reached my limit.

I like the premium high-fat kind from the Whole Foods market. I like the cheap kind from the grocery. I like the kind my friends make from organic eggs, heavy cream, fresh ground spices and nutmeg, tupelo honey, and rich brown rum. I like the kind my ex-wife made from a sixty-year old imprint of The Joy of Cooking.

It's a relief for my arteries when they stop selling it at New Years Day.

I find myself sneaking out to the store half an hour after midnight when the family is asleep to buy just a little more.

The first step is to recognize that I have a problem. It's not right, it's bad for me, it has no redeeming qualities. It might as well be a thick, smooth, creamy, sweet, rich glass of tobacco. But I can't say yet that I truly want to change.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: petzipellepingo
Sunday 31 Oct 2010 at 08:15 am (UTC)
You and Petzi Sis would have a fine time together, she loves that stuff and can't wait for it to show up in the markets.

Which should be any day now...
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[User Picture]From: owenthurman
Tuesday 2 Nov 2010 at 01:57 am (UTC)
Oh, it's in markets now. And it's calling to me. The market is just half a block away. "You could jog over here, Owen," it's saying, "think of all the calories you'd burn."
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[User Picture]From: timeofchange
Sunday 31 Oct 2010 at 01:20 pm (UTC)
Eggnog! I love it, too. I can't control myself around it. Maybe we should start a user appreciation group. Mmmmmm.
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[User Picture]From: owenthurman
Tuesday 2 Nov 2010 at 01:57 am (UTC)
It is delicious, isn't it?
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[User Picture]From: diamondtook862
Sunday 31 Oct 2010 at 01:49 pm (UTC)
Why do you think I became a vegan?
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[User Picture]From: owenthurman
Tuesday 2 Nov 2010 at 02:00 am (UTC)
I always assumed it was to free the honeybees from oppressive working conditions. Extra eggnog resistance could be a health benefit, though. And it would help deal with whipped-cream-and-strawberries season as a bonus.

Mmm. Now I want whipped cream to garnish my nog.
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[User Picture]From: zanthinegirl
Sunday 31 Oct 2010 at 03:01 pm (UTC)
It also makes great creamer for your coffee. I'm just sayin'...
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[User Picture]From: owenthurman
Tuesday 2 Nov 2010 at 02:01 am (UTC)
Why do you think I gave up coffee? Better to sleep 'till noon and avoid the temptation.

It must be better for you than that non-dairy creamer my grandma used to use.
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[User Picture]From: manoah
Sunday 31 Oct 2010 at 06:19 pm (UTC)
This stuff is the bomb-diggity.
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[User Picture]From: owenthurman
Tuesday 2 Nov 2010 at 02:02 am (UTC)
Wonder where I can find some around here...
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